inspired by...

Julie and Julia...what else? Yes, I rented the movie from On Demand, and couldn't resist the urge to write a blog afterwards. Considering the whole premise is based on a woman's blog about Julia Childs....the character of Julie often refers to the "you" to whom she's writing in her blog..."whoever you is." she writes. Which is often how I feel. This is like writing into a a blog hole, without knowing if anyone is reading it. But at times, can be cathartic. Put it out there. I know I'm not writing about anything spectacular. But I'm writing about my life, which to me is the only thing I know, ya know?

Sitting at home alone on a Friday night is often described as being lame. I see that. But most of my friends are gone - either having already gone home for the holidays, or have permanently moved away from me :(. And my roommate is babysitting her nephew. And actually, I don't feel like defending myself, because I really do enjoy it.

The past two weeks have been pretty busy for me. I have gone out to lunch four times, which is more than I usually do in an entire month, I started trying to play guitar again, I made stuffed shells, I went to a birthday party and a going away party, I went back to my old yoga studio, saw a concert with friends, and worked about 90 hours and went out on two dates. For me that's a lot.

Now about this whole dating thing...I don't think I'm good at it. Since I've been here, I have gone on several - maybe 7? - first dates with different guys. How many second dates? None. Not only am I not good at it, but I don't think I like it very much. Don't get me wrong - the feeling of brewing interest,the butterflies, constant thoughts, and tingling cheek feeling is great. But that tends to only happen when the feeling is mutual, right? It hasn't happened yet. In every case, it's been either me or him who has been the interested party. Wah waaaah.

I'm excited to go back to Illinois for the holidays. I have been careful not to say "home for the holidays" this year, though. Since my mom sold the only house I've ever known, I don't really feel an attachment to any certain "home" anymore. I keep in my mind something that I think Buddha said: "Attachment to anything material will only lead to disappointment." Although I'm not entirely sure that's the correct wording, nor am I sure I completely agree, it helps keep my mind a bit at ease. A house is a house is a house. Who said "home is where the heart is?" Tumbleweeds, I think.

Either way, a week filled of family and friends and abounding holiday cheer will lift my spirits and bring me back to the me I know and love.

It's snowing here - we're supposed to get about a foot! My dad told me I should keep my plans of going to the Eastern Market tomorrow. I think walking around in the newly fallen snow could be one of the most beautiful sights I've seen in a long time. I might just be crazy enough to try it. Until then, good night and sweet dreams.

Love love love,
Crystal