OMG

Ever since I started living alone, I've had a pseudo-roommate in one form or another.  First, my broseph was living on my couch for about...six months.  But he moved out a few weeks ago.  And although I have my physical apartment to myself, I have a next door neighbor who has become like a roomie.  I mean, when you think about it, there's only one wall separating us - which is true for real roommates too!  We share keys, and go into each other's spaces when the other isn't home without batting an eyelash.  This is how close we've gotten in such a short time.  It's been amazing!  Not only can I have my own space, but I have someone there when I need to have a wine night and cry while watching the Holiday.  Or when I need a necklace, banana, or boob shirt to wear when I go see the guy who crushed me. 

She's essentially held the roommate place in my life.  Helping keep the transition to living with someone to living by myself much smoother.  BUT she's leaving me.  To move to a place where I'm glad to have a place to crash, but I still can't help that it's going to be SO SAD. 

And now that my like-roommate is going away for-ev-er, I just wanted to give a shoutout to Jenni, because she's really helped me acclimate to life here.  And to say that I honestly believe THIS is going to happen to me when she moves.  (Please read that last link now).

I kid you not, when I was home alone for three days when my roommate in VA was stuck at her sister's during snowpocalypse 2010, I was sliding around the apt wearing only my socks and underpants and seeing how long I could hold a handstand after drinking an entire bottle of wine.  Is sticking garlic up my hoo ha so far away?!  If it's a homeopathic trick, then maybe not.  Oh boy.  I'm not to be trusted when left alone...

When it's hard

Maybe it's because I haven't been writing down things that I'm grateful for on a daily basis, or maybe it's because since I've gotten back from Costa Rica all I want to do is go back, or just because it's no longer November - the month in which we give thanks...but yesterday I noticed that I haven't been taking time to be grateful for what's in my life.  I think that's the first step.  Then, I embraced that feeling.  With good friends and some pink wine, we discussed the trials and tribulations we've gone through recently and not so much.  All of these stories were centered around one thing: relationships.  Whether it was with our mothers, siblings, or the opposite sex, the relationships in our life have such a huge impact.  The thing is - relationships are hard.

Hard to define, hard to maintain, hard to develop, hard to repair, hard to embrace...

And it's an aspect of our lives that we can't usually control.  The truth of the matter is that since relationships involve at least two people, and you can't force the other to feel or do what you want them to.  Instead, we may see what we want to in the other person, whether it be more positive or negative, it's never objective when you're in it.

This is why I love my friends.  Talking about it won't help mend any relationship (or maybe, hopefully, it can if the talks result in actions), but it helps give you a different perspective from a place of truth.

So I didn't really have a point, nor did I decide where exactly I'm going with this...but I guess ultimately what I'm getting as it that this is a huge shoutout to those friends.  It's relationships like this in my life that help mend my heart when it's on the verge of breaking or when I just need someone.  It's these friends who I'm grateful for today.  And tomorrow.  And forever.

As always, Paulo Coelho writes about relationships in such a simple yet profound way. I'll never think of porcupines the same way.. :)